Monday, July 30, 2012

Writing Advice: It's not one size fits all.

note: I started drafting this post back in March, when I was knee-deep in the query trenches. I finished it up today.

I hate giving writing advice.

Why? Well, because, just like anything else in life,
the path to publication is not simple, nor is it easy.

There are as many different paths as there are individual writers.

There are people who write one book, send fifteen queries, sign with a powerhouse agent, and eventually end up with multimillion dollar book, movie, and merchandise deals.

There are people who write nine books and finally snag an agent and huge deal with their tenth.

There are people who send hundreds of queries and revise and resubmits before finding an agent to represent and sell one wonderful novel.

You can find your agent with a query, by referral, during an online conference, through a contest, or via ninja agent ambush.

A book may be on submission for two days before selling, or sit there for ten months.

Generalized writing advice can be useless and demoralizing because writing is so closely tied to who we are. And if the writing advice I give contradicts with someone's experience, the message they get (and the message I have so often gotten) is that they are doing something wrong, that they are missing some crucial piece of "how-to" that they should have picked up on a long time ago.

Summer Berries
Ripe berries and green, all on the same branch.
Metaphor KAPOW.

Back in March, when I had sent a couple hundred queries, received almost as many form rejections, revised two novels dozens of times, been in more contests than I could count on my hands, diligently spent every spare moment working on my craft, and gotten the thumbs up from over a dozen (yes, a DOZEN) readers, if you had given me cliched, platitudinal writing advice like "never give up!" or "keep working hard!" or "believe in yourself!" I would have seriously had to restrain myself to avoid punching you.

This is when straight-up inspirational talk and advice is tough to deal with for a lot of writers.

They (we) know that it's not just a matter of "never giving up," "believing in your work," or "writing something awesome."
They (we)  know it because they've been living it for months, sometimes years.
They (we)  know it because we have a drawer full of manuscripts that we poured our souls into, that we loved, that we thought was the One. (It wasn't. It's getting harder to believe that this one will be.)


But what's even worse - what I hate with every fiber of my being - is the attitude that there is a hierarchy of writing skill that exists in this little community of ours.
Often, I see advice that goes something like this: "Keep working on your writing, and eventually you will come up with something good enough to catch an agent's attention."

Let's just think about that for a second. This seems to suggest that there is some qualifiable level of writing skill that you can attain which, when submitted to an agent's eyes, will magically lift the blinders to Bad Writing or Sub-Par Writing or Non-Awesome Writing, and they will then behold the book, and declare it good, and sign the writer, and submit it to editors, where the process will begin all over again. (Is there a writing skill purgatory, I wonder, for the work that was awesome enough to get an agent but not quite awesome enough to get an editor? Hmm?)

In case my sarcasm isn't one hundred percent obvious, let me be clear: Publishing is a subjective business. What one agent thinks is awesome could look like fire kindling to another. What one agent reads in twelve hours and offers on immediately thereafter could be the same manuscript that garnered 95 form rejections. (Yes, that's my sweet superhero novel, One.)


There is no such thing as a level of writing awesomeness that is worthy of agent or publisher attention. No, there really isn't.


And, if that level doesn't exist, then a simple way to get there doesn't either.


So, why does it bother me when I hear people giving advice that suggests that that level does exist?


Because it makes fellow writers feel bad. And that is not cool.
Not. Cool. At. All.


Listen. The MS that attracted my (very impressive) agent received 89 form rejections before I signed on the dotted line. It's gotten six more in the six weeks since then.

Now, maybe to you that means that I haven't worked hard enough on my craft, that my query letter sucked, that I didn't believe in myself enough, that the story was not marketable, or that my writing just wasn't up to par.

But if you met me, if you read my manuscript, if you knew that it was an in-demand genre and free of YA cliches, if you'd been with me through every grueling step of the process, would you still say those things?

I'll tell you right now - No. You would not.


So, listen, writers. If you take anything away from reading my blog, let it be this. When you finally, gloriously leave the query trenches, however you manage it, to Agentland, or better yet, move from Agentland to Publisheddom, do me a favor. Don't offer advice on how to get there based on your individual path. That path was yours and yours alone, and implying that others are doing it wrong because theirs isn't similar enough is just bad form


Yes. Bad form.

For those of you in the Querying Trenches or Submission Hell (here! have a cookie!), here is what I have to say to you.

I'm sorry. It sucks. I hope that you're able to find a way to make that part of the journey translate into something awesome for the more fun parts.

Will you get an agent? I don't know.
Will you ever publish? I have no clue.
Will the worry and stress and grief tear you apart? Will your writing get worse? Will you fall into an inescapable black hole of suckitude?
I don't know. I'm not you.
But I am here to listen, and to commiserate, and to celebrate with you when things work out the way you want them to. 
And I think that's probably what we all really need most.

(Hey! You! Troll! Yes, you! I delete trollish comments. So don't waste your time. Kisses!)

119 comments:

  1. This is a great post that needs to be read! So important to remember that writers have different career paths, and that the business is ultimately, incredibly subjective.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Subjective. It's like a curse word, isn't it? But it's better than "you suck."

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. *applauds you back*

      Well, now we just look ridiculous.
      *shares sub cookies*

      Delete
    2. *shoves eight sub cookies in her mouth because this is what she eats like these days*

      Love watching how this post resonates with basically everyone in the entire writerverse. There's little more psychologically damaging to a person in the creative arts than hearing "ur doing it rong" and yet, people just can't seem to stop sharing this sentiment AS IF IT HAS EVER WORKED FOR THEM EVER IN THE HISTORY OF LIFE.

      *grabs two more cookies* *swears one's for somebody else*

      Delete
    3. I baked you some more cookies today, Dahl. <3

      Delete
    4. Oh thank God. What is it about being on sub that give me the urge to chew my arm off daily? Sigh. Thank the Lord for sub buddies! *cannot bake but hands Leigh Ann ice cream*

      Delete
  3. This. Thiiiiiis. I'm going to blog about your blog now.

    This is so important. I know we already talked about this, but I think sometimes when people leave the query trenches (and sub trenches? Either or) they forget what it's like to see that advice floating around. Or they weren't in the trenches long enough to hit that devastatingly low point, and they don't know what it feels like to get that sort of advice and feel like utter crap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Chess. And, yeah. "Devastatingly low" and "utter crap" is right.

      I compare query torture to the pain of childbirth. A lot of people say/act like they forget what it feels like, but I don't think I ever will. *shudder*

      Delete
  4. BOOYAH!!!!

    The cold, hard truth is that there is just no telling what will please someone in this business and what won't. We've all read books that others raved about and we hated, and vice versa. So much of publishing is opinion and preference and there's no way to be right or wrong about that part of it - only lucky. The rest is hard work and dedication and sometimes even that's not enough.

    And the next t-shirt I send you is definitely going to have a troll on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BOOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

      Yes. Lucky. And dedication, just because you wont' be there to get the offer from an agent if you quit. And I think the more we write, the better we get, usually. But yeah.

      And OH YES PLEASE. Something to do with troll kisses?

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. *takes a bow* *accepts tossed roses*

      Delete
  6. I want to marry all of your words. And make babies with them. And get a house in the Hamptons together.

    Kels+LA's words=love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only if Barefoot Contessa can be our chef.

      Delete
  7. I want to marry all of your words. And make babies with them. And get a house in the Hamptons together.

    Kels+LA's words=love

    ReplyDelete
  8. This. ALL OF THIS. I can't tell you how many advice posts I've read and then felt shitty about myself. I know that's not the author's intent usually, but this is a fantastic reminder.

    THANK YOU! <33

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jamie, If anyone makes you feel shitty about yourself, I will go apeshit on them. You know, between us. Not in their email inboxes. But you know.

      Delete
    2. Me too! *fistbump* APESHIT, I tell you. <3

      Delete
  9. This. This. Sooooo muuuuuch thiiiiis.

    I've been in the query trenches for months. And it's rough. But it's also a learning experience that I wouldn't trade for the world. All a writer can do is write and keep working toward that goal.

    I'm in love with this post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, keep writing, as long as it doesn't drive you up the wall. That's about as far as I go with writing advice.

      And thank you! <3

      Delete
  10. as one fresh in the query trenches, i thank you. i hope one day to be able to leave the trenches successfully and remember these words well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I think remembering them is the key. It's easy to forget when you're ridign the agent high, but those of us with agents are not any better than those without - just got lucky and caught their eye after working hard.

      Delete
  11. This is something I could and probably need to read each and every day. This needed to be said so badly. As an self-described anal-retentive OCD individual, I innately crave a "how-to to publishing" guide, advice, etc., but the rational, non-crazy part of myself knows there is no ONE way to the publishing glory land. This should be REQUIRED reading for all writers no matter what part of the journey they're on. I bow to your wisdom and fantabulousness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YEP. I was giggling hysterically when the agent I signed with was closed to queries. All the hours I wasted stressing over query advice! SMH

      Delete
  12. Thanks for this, Leigh Ann! Even if we don't need the "writing advice," we all need the encouragement. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you sweetie! Here for encouragement any time.

      Delete
  13. And this is why I love you. Cold hard truth and encouragement all in one. This, and you, are FULL OF WIN! Thanks for writing an awesome post<3

    ReplyDelete
  14. Excellent, excellent post. Might have to bookmark this and come back to it periodically. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Love this! I'm going to tell others about it!
    I have been in the query trenches for...over two years now. Wow! It's been that long? And I'm working on my third ms, hoping this is the one. I love how you said it's all so subjective. And I agree, many act as though they believe there's this level of awesomeness in our world. If you're simply an un-agented writer, you're on that lower level, but then once you've signed with an agent, all of a sudden you're worthy of advancement and others listen to your writing advice. More so to the published writer. This fascinates me because only a month earlier, that agented writer was not agented. I see this a lot on writing forums.

    I wrote a blog post a couple months ago, telling writers that if they keep on keeping on, they'll land an agent. That it's simply perseverance. Yeah, that was when I had two fulls out and I had figured my perseverance was the reason. And then those fulls turned into rejections, pushing me back in the query trenches and smacking me in the face with the whole, perseverance thing. So thanks for this post! I needed to hear it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EXACTLY. With the LEVELS and the ADVICE. I got my agent through a contest, but hardly any requests via query, so when people ask me for query advice, it cracks me up. I'm like, I don't know!

      Good luck in the trenches. Hang in, and get encouragement wherever you can.

      Delete
  16. Yes yes and yes!!!! And thanks for the cookie....just what i needed along.with your post. I know.and agree with everthing you say. Just need to learn to.apply it to my own darn self, lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! *noms* Don't forget to reach out for support. We have a GREAT community!

      Delete
  17. Well said, Leigh Ann. I really enjoyed reading this. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Tracey. I enjoy your face. :D

      Delete
  18. Yes! Cookies for everyone! It's hard enough to put your writing out into the world without dealing with well-meaning but wrong-footed advice. Thank you so much for this! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I know. Unfortunately, well-meaning doesn't help the person you just made feel like crap, you know?

    Thanks for coming over! <3

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks so much, Leigh Ann. I really need to read this right now. It's so hard to want to keep trying when everything I read make me feel like I've already failed. I look back at my first draft & I actually believe that in some ways it was better because I wrote it before I read all the "thou shalt nots" of writing. It's so hard to get those ideas out of your head once they're in there.

    Ok. Deep breaths. Finish this read through. Send to readers. Get back to my WiP(s). Keep. Writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EXACTLY. ANd you can't write when you think that you're already a failure becuase all your efforts haven't been working. <3

      But YOU are doing a great job. Really. *smooshes*

      Delete
  21. Right on! Thank you so much for this post. *hugs you*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *squeezes* I think about you and Rilke all the time.

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Aw, Megs. I love you.

      Now go write me some Scenes.

      Delete
  23. *fistpumps*

    One of the most infuriating attitudes in the writing community to me is when people basically say, "This is how it worked for me, therefore it should work that way for you." And because of that, I used to think that those lightning-fast success stories were the norm. I've been doing R&Rs with the same agent for a year now, and sometimes hearing those success stories makes me worry about the fact that I haven't gotten to 'yes' just yet. But then I remember that no matter what, I'm getting some amazing advice and critiques from an equally amazing agent, and that's going to lead to wonderful things, even if I don't know what those things are just yet.

    Thanks for the reminder that the long way around is a valid one, too. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guuuuh YES. The lightning-fast success stories DESTROYED me.

      It sounds like you're working your ass off for that agent, and I'm glad you're not letting hte fact that your way is different - and certainly not simple- discourage you. Rock on, lady.

      Delete
  24. Great post. The change in font size was interesting :)
    I've been polishing my query letter for years - complicated as writing a novel is,condensing it into an interesting pitch/summary is even more so. My best advice is ask many different trustworthy writers for input. Eventually, if you have a good story, it will work.

    Take care,
    Jennifer

    ReplyDelete
  25. You know what -- this is the perfect post. Extremely honest and true. When you're in the trenches, platitudes don't help because you could be one of those (many) writers who would never get an agent, never get published. All the advice I've received are well-meaning, and I appreciate them. But they don't work for everybody. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *squeezes* Keep on keepin' on, lady. The trenches suck. <3

      Delete
  26. Amen! I'm like Jenny in that I really needed this, especially since this is going to be my fourth year in the query trenches. Thank you so much for this post and congrats again on ONE. (Btw, I just started reading it this morning! EEEEE! :D) Love you!

    PS--LOL, I agree with Jennifer. I admit that one of my favorite aspects of your posts are the font size changes. Very interesting but effective, imo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh LYLA. Why aren't you coming to OHIO STATE!?!?! *wails*

      I know I've said it a million times, but thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read. Hope really hard for some subs success, huh? <3

      Delete
  27. Very positive and encouraging post.

    ReplyDelete
  28. This. Just. This.

    I don't have anything to add except to say thank you for saying what needed to be said! <3

    ReplyDelete
  29. My biggest problem with all the advice out there is how much of it is so contradictory. If you tried to follow it all, not only would you go batty but your writing would ultimately suffer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EXACTLY. And it provides a mold that you might not fit in. And that's OKAY. <3

      Delete
  30. THIS. SO MUCH THIS. Also SUBJECTIVITY. I love the picture metaphor, love <3 The thing is. It's okay to tell your story and if you help someone, cool. But when you start to condescend to them about how one-size fits all, that's when you venture down the wrong path.

    Thank you for saying this. You ROCK MY WORLD.

    EXCELLENT POST <3<3<3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I should have known you would like the metaphor. ;)

      You rock my face off. So glad you're on the team, babe. <3

      Delete
  31. Thank you. So much. All the advice is killing me, and for awhile, I allowed it to kill my writing. It took a few Beta Readers to straighten me out, because I followed all the advice, ruining my voice and the story. The revision will be done and then I am jumping into the query trenches. And I will bookmark this blog to remember, I can't compare myself to others. Not to allow my "newbie" status to let others tell me which path to take. To remember, it may take a long time...but that is my path. Not theirs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'I allowed it to kill my writing'

      Oh, honey. I know we've all been there. If I had a dollar for every time I've felt not good enough....bluh. Anyway, no comparing! You are doing great! <3

      Delete
  32. I had to come out of my revision cave to comment on this wonderful post. Well said. Leigh Ann. I think your journey and my journey mirrors each other. There are days when you want to cry, days where you want to give up, and days where everything comes together and it all feels worth it. Funny thing, it's never one level, it's continually up and down, like the waves in the ocean.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brenda. That is EXACTLY IT. ANd yes, it's always up and down. And if we don't support each other....we'll drown.

      Thank you for being SO AWESOME all the time. <3

      Delete
  33. Amen. I'm saving this post for future reference and encouragement purposes. <3

    ReplyDelete
  34. I'm sitting here with tears streaking down my face (and not just because I've been watching the Olympics) but because your words are beautiful and I so needed to hear them. I usually feel like the odd man out because... you know what? It doesn't matter why, but I do and I love what you're saying. So thank you. Thank you for your time and encouragement and your general kick-ass-ness you share. All the love and cookies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thank you sweetie! That's the best any of us can do - try to be kickass. <3

      Delete
  35. I LOVE this post.

    And it's so true. Not every writer is going to have the same experiences and there is not a right way to do anything, especially when it comes to writing a book and querying it. If it were as simple as taking one writer's advice and following it to the letter, then maybe every writer would find agents and get book deals. Since it's not like that, all a writer can do is write the book they want to write the best way they can, query it, and never give up even if you send out a hundred queries and get a lot of rejections in return.

    Thanks for sharing this post. This will be nice to read when I get to the querying stage. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love YOU, Raven.

      And that's exactly right. I wish it was as simple as writing a good book and getting agents to read it. But I think most of us know that's just not true.

      xoxox

      Delete
  36. I love you. This is perfect.

    <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, Marieke. You know how I feel about you. <3

      Delete
  37. Awesome, Leigh Ann. Loved it. So very true. :D Thank you for writing it.

    ReplyDelete
  38. As always, awesome post :) Subjectivity is one of the best things about writing because after a flood of rejections, that one request or those few words of encouragement can mean the world. I got about 90 rejections on my first manuscript, and while I'm a naturally optimistic person, I couldn't help feeling pretty defeated sometimes. This is definitely something querying writers need to hear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep. Defeat feels like a constant part of this process-which is why we need each other. You've always been so wonderful. <3

      Delete
  39. Love. Just love. I hate when I see other writers who seem completely beat down because they've been reading "advice" from others about how they need to write, or because someone who says they're an expert eviscerates their work, when the reality may be that that advice/critique is just someone's opinion. Some get so discouraged they never even make it to the submission phase!

    Thank you for putting this out there for everyone who encounters "that" advice or person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep. Just like the writing, whoever counts as an "expert" is VASTLY subjective. Hang in there. <3

      Delete
  40. I've mostly ignored advice online on the path to getting an agent (beyond the querying basics, that is), so I haven't had the issue of conflicting advice. But... as a hugely optimistic person with a good amount of confidence in my writing (buoyed by many positive CP reviews), I'd sort of thought I'd be one of those people who got a bunch of interest and an agent off of fifteen or twenty queries. Well, fifteen or twenty was some while ago, and I've only had one nibble so far. It's hard not to start feeling beat down when your stats look like that, optimistic or not. I'm sure you can relate. You and your success so far have been a huge inspiration to me in helping me keep my head up. Thank you for this post - these are the best sort of encouragement/inspiration posts, a reminder that we all take different paths and a huge pile of rejections doesn't mean someone's on the wrong one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I would have written this comment three months ago. Ill never know exactly why my MS got so few bites from agents , but I do know that my agent asked for ZERO revisions on it before sending it out. Subjective. Your stats do not define your skill. Okay? Hang in there. <3

      Delete
  41. Thank you. Definitely thank you. And that was a delicious cookie. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank YOU. And good luck on subs, honey.

      Delete
  42. Interesting post! And all incredibly, very true. I haven't seen anyone telling writers how they "should" be doing whatever. This business is so subjective. I mean, look at the things that fly off the charts. It's all just a matter of writing the best story you can write, doing all you can, and then hoping for the best.

    Great words here, LA! :o) <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's exactly right. Lots of hard work, lots of hope. Thanks for commenting. <3

      Delete
  43. You totally rock, Leigh Ann! AND this goes for people in sub as well. I think you make a BIG difference and are proof that persistence works. Now I want a cookie, so thanks for that, too! =0
    Hearts and flowers and candy and stuff.
    =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Viviiiiii! You rock so hard!

      Thanks for reading , babe. Best of luck out there. <3

      Delete
  44. Trying not to fall into the "inescapable black hole of suckitude." Haha, that phrase alone makes me NOT fall into it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha don't worry, Mel. You're not even close to the hole. <3

      Delete
  45. Wow! Very moving. Loved it. Gave me a lot to think about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to hear it! Thank you so much for coming over. <3

      Delete
  46. Obviously, this post resonated with a lot of peeps, myself included. Thanks, Leigh Ann, your ice cream cake is in the mail.

    Much of the success in this industry has to do with timing and luck. And I believe you create your own luck with hard work and determination. I wish Publishers Marketplace would put up stats alongside all of its deals.

    After 300 rejections from agents, 58 rejections from editors, "Pony Palace" a debut novel, has sold in a very nice deal to an exhausted author...finally.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Exactly. And no way would I have been able to hang in there so long without my CPs.

    And...did I miss a book deal???

    ReplyDelete
  48. No, I totally made that up. My stats are similar though ;)

    ReplyDelete
  49. Nice to hear someone else giving it to the people straight up and honestly. If there was such a 'one size fits all' way of writing, every single one of us would be published. Good post!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Wow... that is a fantastic post. (Saw this via Jennifer Laughran's equally fantastic post.)

    I am deep in the query trenches with my third book and have amassed exactly 175 rejections between all of them, if I count no responses (thank you, Query Tracker, those are such good stats to have at my fingertips, ugh). I very much feel like punching people who spout the platitudes you mentioned.

    BUT... I've finally figured out how to do this. As you said, I have a manuscript that's marketable, the writing is good, and it's free of cliches. I just haven't found the agent yet. So thanks for the reaffirming words :-)

    ReplyDelete
  51. awesome post Leigh Ann! I'd like to think that people saying this is how it worked for me, do it my way, are just trying to be helpful. But like you said, it's different for everyone. I'm a super slow writer, and sometimes when I read authors talking about how they can write 10 books in a year, I can't help to think I'm doing something wrong, LOL and yeah, it sucks. But just gotta keep at it.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I'm re-entering the querying trenches and this post made my day. Thank you so much!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oh, gosh. You just got yourself a new fan. I'm not even at the point of entering the querying trenches - YET - but I've been tugged down by so many different forms of writing advice: most recently, a writing peer my age (late teens) telling me to "write faster" before the market slipped away from my grasp.

    Not cool.

    Thanks so much for this. <3

    ReplyDelete
  54. I am brand new to the trenches and trying to believe I'll stay strong. Your post was lovely. Thank you SO much and best of luck to you. First time on your blog, but I'll be back!

    ReplyDelete
  55. I really, really needed to hear this right now.

    ReplyDelete
  56. I'd like to hug you now. *chokes up* This post is wonderful and exactly what I needed to hear today as I suffer in the query/pitch contest/R&R trenches. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Preach it sister! I am so tired of writers being so catty, trying to back-handedly put each other down. We need to support each other! This is such a great post!

    ReplyDelete
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